


Intention

by MeltedIceAngel



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Arguments, But it's okay, Crying, Fights, First Kiss, First Love, Getting Together, He thinks Chenle doesn't love him, Jisung feels like an ass, Jisung loves Chenle, Love Confessions, M/M, Park Jisung (NCT) is Whipped, Sad with a Happy Ending, jealous jisung, they have their whole lives to make up for how they got together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26903644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeltedIceAngel/pseuds/MeltedIceAngel
Summary: “What part of what I do screams I’m using you? What part of I love you, or you’re my best friend or even, you’re it doesn’t register in your dense, stupid head?”“Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact you say it to everyone?” Jisung exclaimed, throwing his hands up to his head.“And what of it? Can you not understand intention?” Chenle asked, trying to wipe away his tears. “I’m sorry that I don’t have a grasp on this language yet. I’ve tried my damn hardest to do it, but I don’t know any other word for love except love. I love the members, and I want to tell them. I can’t think of a different way to say it so you understand. There’s not a word in my mental dictionary that encompasses what I feel for you, Park Jisung, even when you’re being an absolute asshole.”Or; Jisung gets jealous and takes it out on Chenle. This leads to a love confession they may not have been ready for, but they handled it just like everything else. Together.
Relationships: Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 2
Kudos: 133





	Intention

**Author's Note:**

> Never wrote a getting together story, so it just had to be angst filled. Oh well!

It was after a fight. Somehow the biggest, most defining moments in their friendship always seemed to manifest after a verbal lashing. Words tearing at insecurities and tears falling down red, angry cheeks as they tried to dispel all the ugly, negative feelings eating them up inside. It always seemed to be after a comeback, no less, when Chenle wasn’t around enough to keep things from boiling over into volcanic eruption like conflicts. 

They’d forgiven each other, but it was different this time. It was the first time they’d argued over them and their relationship rather than something superficial and easy to tack blame onto. It had never been something serious--not until that moment, the one Jisung had enough of being seemingly toyed with, his feelings tossed around like a child’s toy in a dog’s uncaring mouth.

“I’m not fanservice, Chenle! If you don’t like me, stop acting like you do,” Jisung had yelled, and the heartbreak on Chenle’s face was visible from the Heavens. The way his face crumpled, eyelids drooping and hands collapsing to his side as he hung his head low, soft sobs ripping from deep in his chest. 

It had made Jisung feel like shit, but he was over the games. Over the questioning, the what-ifs, the whys. Why would Chenle be overly touchy, flirty, and all-around obvious with Jisung if that’s not what he wanted? It killed Jisung to watch Chenle go off and do the same things with the other members. Sometimes, he was forced to acknowledge, to an even higher degree.

“I love you,” Chenle would say, leaning into Jisung’s personal space and threatening a kiss with his puckered out lips. Jisung would laugh and swat him away, trying not to show how much the simple act affected him. 

Maybe it was Jisung’s fault they had fought at all. It was pretty clear from the get-go that Chenle didn’t actually favor him over any of the other members. 

It sounded childish after the fact, but Jisung was jealous by nature. He loved Chenle with all the space allotted for such a feeling. There was no one else that could ever take his place, no one else that Jisung could so much as pretend to have the same feelings for. 

Hearing things like Jaemin being Chenle’s favorite, or watching him seek out Mark just to sit in his lap, or Renjun to have an in-depth conversation; it all hurt. It all made him so petulantly angry that he couldn’t help when it finally combusted like a hydrogen bomb when Chenle had openly, without any care in the world, kissed Donghyuck on the cheek. 

“You think I use you for fanservice?” Chenle sounded so devastated that Jisung had nearly backed down. 

“It’s pretty obvious, don’t you think?” Jisung bit, and maybe it wasn’t. Maybe Jisung read all the signals wrong, and now he was the asshole. Chenle just shook his head and collapsed in on himself, arms crossed, and pulled so deep into his chest he had to bend over to accommodate. 

“You’re so stupid, Park Jisung!” Chenle tried to sound menacing. Like he had any control in where the conversation was going. It was clear Jisung had the argument by the throat, and any attempt of Chenle’s to divert it wouldn’t work. He still kept on, “What part of what I do screams I’m using you? What part of I love you, or you’re my best friend or even, you’re it doesn’t register in your dense, stupid head?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact you say it to everyone?” Jisung exclaimed, throwing his hands up to his head. He’d known Chenle was dense, but not this dense.

“And what of it? Can you not understand intention?” Chenle asked, trying to wipe away his tears. “I’m sorry that I don’t have a grasp on this language yet. I’ve tried my damn hardest to do it, but I don’t know any other word for love except love. I love the members, and I want to tell them. I can’t think of a different way to say it so you understand. There’s not a word in my mental dictionary that encompasses what I feel for you, Park Jisung, even when you’re being an absolute asshole.”

Jisung should’ve kept his mouth closed, but he’d already put his foot in his mouth. Might as well keep going. “I don’t know, maybe try not crawling all over them like a desperate kitten? Or kissing them on the cheek? I might be able to hear the intention behind it if you put some action behind your words, or better yet, stopped,” Jisung said, his heart thumping madly as Chenle sobbed openly once again. He hated seeing Chenle cry. He was such a sensitive, tender-hearted person. It was one of the reasons Jisung fell so hard for him in the first place, and now it felt as if he was taking advantage of Chenle’s nature. 

Obviously, Chenle felt guilty, and that should’ve been enough to end the whole thing once and for all. All Jisung was doing was making the entire situation ten times worse. If he had just sat down and discussed it with Chenle like an adult, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. For someone who liked to point out he was an adult in every other country except his own, he was sure acting his age. 

“I love you,” Chenle whimpered, head down as if waiting for Jisung’s next verbal attack. When one didn’t come, he spoke up again, “This isn’t how I wanted to tell you, but I’m scared. I don’t want you to go. I love you like the kind where I want to go on dates with you and kiss you when you wake up and cuddle you when we go to sleep.”

Jisung let the new information mull over in his head. It still didn’t change the fact Chenle was openly affectionate with everyone, but this… Jisung needed to hear him out. There was no point in continuing the argument any further, and doing so would only make him even more of a terrible person. Chenle was scared. He admitted to a secret he’d held because he thought if he didn’t, Jisung would leave him.

Way to go and mess up another crucial aspect to a relationship, idiot, Jisung thought bitterly.

“I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t think it would work. Your family is really conservative, Jisung. What if you hated me? What if you thought I was disgusting? I couldn’t lose you. It was worth it to keep you around. I’m sorry. I messed it all up,” Chenle blamed himself, and Jisung’s resolve broke. This was stupid. Chenle just told Jisung he loved him, and all Jisung could do was continue to mentally berate the other. 

“You didn’t,” Jisung said, hating to admit he was wrong but knowing he had to. He was wrong, and Chenle didn’t deserve to grovel on his knees any longer. “Do you mean it? What you just said?” Jisung had to be sure. If he wasn’t, he was about to make a serious fool out of himself.

“Yes. I love you. I’m sorry, I understand if you can’t accept that. I know it’s a sin. I know that it’s illegal and gross, and I’m going to Hell for it, or whatever people say now. I can’t help it. I love everything about you,” Chenle’s voice broke as his breath hitched, his whole body shaking. Without a moment of hesitation, Jisung ran forward and pulled Chenle to his chest, cuddling him close. 

“You are not gross. You are not a bad person for this. I don’t care what thousand-year-old books say, you are perfect. You are amazing just the way you are,” Jisung said. Even the thought of Chenle saying such awful things about himself was enough to make Jisung’s blood boil. How dare someone make Chenle believe such damaging things. 

You can’t choose who you fall in love with. Maybe if you could, Chenle would’ve picked someone better. Someone less jealous. Less reserved. Jisung loved Chenle, though. So much of his life revolved around the other boy that part of him couldn’t deny that no one could love Chenle like he did.

Chenle said, proving their close bond didn’t come with telepathic powers, “But you don’t love me back?” 

“Chenle, I love every microscopic piece of you.” Jisung was quick to refute. “Every little thing. I love your laugh, I love your voice, whether it’s hoarse or steady or cracking. I love your eyes, and your nose, and your lips. I love your smile,” Jisung said, using one of his fingers to push the corner of Chenle’s lips up. Chenle was staring at him with wide eyes, but his lips still turned up in a small, barely noticeable smile. Jisung intertwined their fingers with one hand, using the other to trace Chenle’s sharp jawline. 

“I love how loud and happy you are. How optimistic you can be. I love how distracted you get by things you find entertaining, and how even the simplest things catch and hold your attention. I love you even when you’re crying. When you’re angry and yelling. When you’re so weak, you can’t hold yourself up anymore. I love you. All of you. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let my insecurities get the better of me. I never wanted to hurt you,” Jisung lamented, wiping away the tears on Chenle’s cheeks. The elder’s tongue snaked out to lick a few of them away, and Jisung found himself drawn in. He stared too long at Chenle’s lips, and it took him noticing Chenle mimicking the action to break him out of his spell. 

“I’m just touchy. It’s how my family was. I’m sorry,” Chenle sighed, his eyes shooting up to look at the ceiling to try and stop a new flow of tears. 

“No. I’m sorry,” Jisung said. He pressed a nervous kiss to Chenle’s head, allowing the more shameless part of him to take over for once. Realizing that the other members would probably like to return to their spots they’d occupied before the duo began fighting, Jisung led Chenle by their connected hands back to Jisung and Jaemin’s shared room. 

They settled down on Jaemin’s bed, Chenle’s head still down. Jisung allowed his fingers to run over Chenle’s lips, taking extra care to be gentle as he did so. Top lip first, down to the bottom. His finger trailed up from there, over Chenle’s nose, through his eyebrow and wrapping around his eye. He gave the second eye the same treatment, and once he’d finished, he let his palm settle on Chenle’s cheek. 

Jisung grabbed Chenle’s hand, placing a feather-light kiss on the skin of Chenle’s palm. He looked up at that, a small blush faintly painting his cheeks, but Jisung wasn’t paying any mind to them yet. He turned Chenle’s wrist over and planted a kiss to the back, then gently guided the hand to rest on his own waist as he turned his attention elsewhere. 

Jisung looked to Chenle to ask for permission for what he was about to do next, and with a shaky nod, the elder agreed. Jisung pulled the top of Chenle’s shirt down a little, his lips ghosting over a jutted out collarbone. He pressed a few kisses there, his lips smacking as he allowed his lips to open just the slightest bit. Chenle sighed and tilted his head to the side, opening up another avenue for Jisung to go down. 

Jisung wasted no time scooting himself forward and wrapping his arms around Chenle’s thin waist. He suckled at Chenle’s neck gently, tingles running up from the bottom of his spine all the way to his neck as Chenle sighed appreciatively. He moved on again, pressing kisses to Chenle’s jawline, his nose, the crown of his head, and both of his closed eyelids. 

“Jisungie,” Chenle was hoarse when he spoke next. “Kiss me.” 

Who was Jisung to deny him?

Their lips came together tentatively at first, both of them unsure of what to do. They pulled away for an instant, their gazes catching before they crashed back into each other again. It didn’t come easy at first; the kiss was all teeth and spit for the first few moments, but it got more comfortable as they continued on. 

Chenle’s hands buried themselves in Jisung’s hair, fingers tugging lightly at the slowly damaging strands. Jisung’s arms wrapped themselves around Chenle’s waist and pulled him closer, their bodies gravitating together like the moon and the earth. Never meant to be together, but perhaps one day destined to meet; their first and final moment together an explosion that would rock the solar system and change all of the historical dynamics. 

A quiet explosion--the only sound being that of their lips as they disconnected, Chenle pressing his forehead to Jisung’s. Jisung flinched as something wet hit his bottom lip. He stuck his tongue out and licked it away, the familiar salty taste making his heart tug painfully. 

“Don’t cry,” He whispered into the quiet, and Chenle shook his head but didn’t pull away.

“I’m not,” Chenle lied. Jisung didn’t argue. 

The damage was done, but somehow Jisung didn’t find himself regretting the majority of what had transpired. He took what happened as a lesson, letting him know how to treat Chenle going forward. Jisung would not force Chenle to change, for even the moments of jealousy were moments that proved how much he loved the other boy. 

“I’m-” Jisung went to apologize, but Chenle cut him off.

“In love with you,” Chenle finished, purposefully changing the intended ending to Jisung’s sentence. He smiled and wrapped Jisung in a tight hug. 

Jisung could only hug him back. 

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.buymeacoffee.com/meltediceangel (helps pay for medical school)
> 
> I've had this sitting in drafts since June, so I hope it's alright. Not sure how happy I am with it, but please still leave comments and kudos. Comments are my absolute life-blood.


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